Choices Read online

  He stared up at the ceiling wondering how badly he hurt Kenleigh when he heard a creak and looked over to his bedroom door. Darkness had swallowed his room long ago as he turned off all his lamps. Only the moonlight lit up the room from the tall doors that led to his balcony. He saw Kenleigh creeping towards him. He felt his heart begin to race slightly as he saw the skimpy baby doll she had on. Any man who didn’t react to her dressed like that was obviously blind. Her hair was slightly wavy and she looked downright sexy in that sheer piece of lingerie she had on. Any man would kill to have her walking towards his bed like that but Jack didn’t move. She was crossing the barrier that he was too afraid to step over. When she got a few steps away from the bed, he shut his eyes, he pretended he was asleep but the anticipation he felt increased as he was waiting to see why she was in his room. His senses were on high alert as his heart continued to race.

  Jack felt her lift the covers and slide in beside him. Her bare skin against his felt electric. A light lavender scent filled the air around him as she nestled herself against him. He opened his eyes once she stilled. He stared towards the door trying to decide what he should do. Since he returned from Kansas, Kenleigh had never come to his room and he never went to hers. Jack knew from an outsider’s point of view they looked like a couple, but behind the doors when they were alone, they were merely friends no matter how much she tried to persuade him otherwise. With the exception of the one drunken night in Manhattan, he never kissed her lips or held her in his arms at night, or slept in the same bed but it wasn’t for the lack of her trying.

  He felt Kenleigh sigh and press herself into him a little bit more. Jack felt the warmth of her body spread against his chest as she closed any distance between them. He felt every curve of her body against him. He noticed that she fit quite nicely. He tipped his face down to inhale her scent. She surely knew he was awake now but he couldn’t help himself as he wrapped his arm around her and closed his eyes. Jack felt Kenleigh smile up against his chest. She was forcing him in a direction he was too scared to go but the line has been crossed. He had to see where this was going although his heart started aching thinking about the last woman he held in his arms.

  “I love you, Jack,” she whispered.

  Jack opened his eyes again. He didn’t want to cross this line with his best friend, but now there was no going back. No way to undo the words she just said. His heart ached at the sound of those words and he didn’t know what else to do but just lay there. He knew he couldn’t return the words, he didn’t know if he ever could.

  TWO

  Jack stared out the window of his bedroom. A week had passed since Kenleigh crawled into his bed and he couldn’t figure out where they were going with their relationship. Kenleigh was sneaking into his room about every chance she got. He liked the feeling of waking up with her wrapped up in his arms, their legs entangled with each other. He didn’t realize how much he missed the feeling of waking up with someone until this week. Her decision to force him in this direction made Jack realized how lost he really was. She slowly started etching her way into his heart. The door to it was now starting to open. She was becoming a necessity for him to sleep well at night. She wasn’t Paxton by any means, but Kenleigh was carving her way in. There were a couple nights she spent working on an event Oasis was sponsoring for the arts and never made it home until late. She didn’t come to him those nights and he couldn’t sleep. Occasionally as they laid together, he thought it should be Paxton in his arms, not Kenleigh. He was having a tough time becoming the new Jack he swore he was going to be.

  Jack felt two arms wrap around his bare chest. He turned his head and saw Kenleigh’s blonde hair fall over his shoulder. “Hey Kitten,” he smiled. It was hard not to smile when he had Kenleigh around.

  “What are you doing brooding up here?” She kissed his neck and walked around in front of him with her arms still secured around him.

  “I’m not brooding, I was just thinking of you.” He noticed her half-dressed state. They blurred the lines of their relationship even further over the last week. They had a few sleepless nights giving into the carnal needs of each other.

  “What about me?” Her voice lowered as she kissed his collarbone.

  Jack closed his eyes and savored her touch. He opened his eyes and he looked down at her. “I was just thinking about this past week.”

  He saw Kenleigh lift the corner of her mouth and look up at him deviously, “What about this past week?”

  “How you keep sneaking in my bed,” he bent down and kissed her forehead.

  “You know you enjoy that,” she teased as she let him go. Jack saw her walk over to his bed and plop down on it.

  He laughed at her ploy to lure him into bed. “Not today Kitten, I have things I need to do,” Jack smiled. Flashes of their sleepless nights made an appearance in his thoughts.

  “I know. I just really came in here to let you know that I have a few things at the boutique I need to get done. We are having a photo shoot for the next quarter’s catalogue. I have to pull an all-nighter to make sure that the outfits fit the models just right. I have to fix a few that I will be modeling.”

  “Modeling? You? I don’t know if you can pull off those outfits,” Jack teased.

  Kenleigh scoffed and propped herself up on her elbows, “Maybe you should come by and take a look then. I’ll give you a little private show.”

  Jack walked over and leaned over her. She fell flat back on the bed. His arms caged her in on the bed, “Maybe I will hold you to that.”

  He lowered himself and planted a kiss on her cheek. Kenleigh giggled below him, attempting to push him off. Jack felt his smile widen.

  “Let me up, you sex-driven male!” Kenleigh attempted to shove him off again and Jack stood up chuckling.

  He pulled her up and into a hug. He felt happy and it was all because of her. “You are the best thing to happen to me in these last few months.”

  He felt Kenleigh still in his arms, the mood suddenly changing to a more serious one between them. She didn’t say anything but he knew she was probably thinking about how much has changed between them over the last week. They turned a corner and Jack just let go of Paxton, or was attempting to. Jack knew that Paxton was still trying to find herself, but as much as he wanted to wait for her, he knew there was a chance that she wouldn’t let him back in. Jack didn’t want to throw away anything with Kenleigh and right now things were good for him. Kenleigh was good for him, he was moving forward. Jack just hoped it wouldn’t cost his friendship with Kenleigh if things went bad.

  “You know I love you Jack. I know you aren’t ready to say it back to me, if you ever will, but I’m glad you are smiling again,” Kenleigh quietly confessed.

  Jack let go of Kenleigh. She looked up at him and all he could do was stare into her bright green eyes that now showed concern for him. “Don’t worry Kitten, I’m fine. I just don’t want to ruin this.”

  He waited for Kenleigh to say something but her eyes just studied him. Jack gave her a reassuring smile and kissed her forehead. He felt the tension in her body as she wrapped her arms back around him and pressed herself against him. They stood there for a few moments then she pulled away from him.

  “I’m off to do finishing touches and show this beautiful body of mine off.” Kenleigh walked away and just like that, things were light again.

  Jack smiled as Kenleigh disappeared around the corner. Kenleigh kept chipping away at the walls he built around his heart. He knew Paxton still held a major part of it, but her hold was diminishing day by day, little by little.

  He walked over to the closet and pulled out the only shoe box he kept in his closet. He took a deep breath and carried the small box over to his bed. Kenleigh didn’t know about this box but it was the last of Paxton. He slowly took off the lid and took a deep breath. Inside were the pictures he saved, the little notes she made stating she would make things up to him because she was called into surgery. His old phone sat in there. He had gotten a new
one when he got back a month ago. He turned on his old one occasionally to see if Paxton had tried to contact him but he never discovered any voicemails or texts from her. The items in the box were the only thing he had to remind him of what he used to have over the past ten years with Paxton.

  Jack picked up the phone and turned it on. As the phone was booting up, he felt guilty. Kenleigh deserved someone who was ready to love her. He put the phone back in the box and closed it. He was happy with Kenleigh. This box held only hurt and his past. He stood and placed the box back in the closet where he kept it. He still couldn’t bring himself to get rid of the box as he felt like he couldn’t throw Paxton away but he knew that he should not wait for her to come around. He had a perfectly good woman right here in front of him, ready and waiting for him. Kenleigh deserved better from him.

  “Mr. Mercier?” A knock on the door echoed in the room.

  Jack recognized Hugh’s voice. He still wasn’t used to having a butler/driver. He walked over and opened the door, “Hugh, what’s up?”

  “Sir, you have a visitor. A Mr. Duke Avery.”

  Jack froze. Hugh noticed his reaction as Jack saw him glance nervously at him. “I, uh, will be right there. Please see him to the library.”

  “Yes, sir.”

  Jack wasn’t sure why Duke flew halfway across the country to see him unannounced. They had nothing to talk about as their friendship fell apart the night he found Duke in his bed with Paxton. Jack wanted nothing to do with the man that was trying to take his place in Paxton’s life. Yes he and Paxton are technically divorced but Jack realized all his past mistakes and tried to make up for them. Jack went to his closet to grab a shirt. He needed to see why Duke was there and if it had anything to do with Paxton.

  Jack stopped dead in his tracks. He realized that in a split second, he forgot all about Kenleigh. He didn’t think about how happy he was in the past week with her. As soon as the thought of Paxton came to mind, it washed away any thoughts of Kenleigh. Jack sighed knowing that he couldn’t treat Kenleigh that way. He needed to cut his ties with his past to move on. He grabbed his shirt and headed down. It was time to move on, here was his first test. This would start a foundation for the new Jack that he vowed to be when he came back home last month.

  When Jack reached the library, he saw Duke staring out the patio doors where the gardens were located at. He stared at the man he used to call his best friend and braced himself as he made his way to him. Jack’s resolve hardened a bit. He was done chasing, he was going to start building his future.

  “What are you doing here?”

  Duke turned around at the sound of Jack’s voice. He looked like a deer caught in headlights. He stood there for a moment. Jack waited for his answer but he felt his anger level rising although nothing had happened yet.

  “Listen, I didn’t come to fight with you. I just need you to listen because I don’t know what else to do.”

  Jack heard the concern in Duke’s voice. Whatever brought him here was something big, but what it had to do with him, he wasn’t sure. “What do you mean?”

  Duke sighed, “Look, I know I am the last person you want to help, let alone the last person you want to see.”

  “Get to the point, Duke.”

  “It’s Paxton,” Duke paused.

  Jack felt his breathing stopped at the mention of her name. He tried to brace himself for whatever was about to come next. He repeated to himself silently that he was moving on, Paxton was not his concern, but his heart had other plans apparently. She still affected him.

  “She’s broken Jack. The day you left her, I don’t know. She’s not the same. As much as I try to be there for her, she won’t let me in. She’s putting on a show for everyone. She looks fine on the outside but I see the look in her eyes when she doesn’t think anyone is paying attention. I think she is waiting for you to decide what you really want. She’s waiting for you, for some ungodly, unknown reason she still loves you.”

  “She made it pretty clear, she needed more time. She doesn’t want me. So what do you want me to do?”

  “Be the man she fell in love with. The one that I used to call my best friend. Go to her, work things out. Fix her.”

  Jack turned away from Duke. Jack was afraid of what his face would give away, the indecision he felt as the thought of Paxton waiting for him made him have hope there was still a chance they could revive their relationship. He had just told himself that he was going to try to move on with Kenleigh but the mention of Paxton’s name sent his world upside down as much as he tried to stop it. Mind over matter, or in this case, his heart. He wasn’t going back down this road again. He wouldn’t survive if he had to walk away again. He looked back up at Duke trying to keep his face neutral.

  “I’m sorry I can’t help you. She needs to move on and quit wasting her time on me.” Jack’s voice was harder than he meant it to be.

  He heard Duke say something under his breath but he couldn’t make it out. Jack waited for the blows to come, the names, the reasons he wasn’t good enough for Paxton but Duke remained silent.

  “I mean I will always care for her but we are not compatible any longer. She can’t forgive me. Her months of silence prove that point for me,” Jack continued. “Besides, I have moved on with someone else.”

  “She’s waiting for you to chase her,” Duke quipped. “To show her how much you love her but I can see you don’t. I can see that you and Kenleigh have made yourselves a cozy little place together.” Duke stared at him. Jack felt slightly uneasy. Of course he would put two-and-two together.

  “How did you find me anyways?” Jack asked suddenly curious. He had never been to Kenleigh’s new place.

  “Your mother was all too excited to give up your address when your best friend called looking for you.”

  Jack sighed. His mother always had a soft spot for Duke. She saw him as the stereotypical sweet, country boy: hard-working, polite, and easy on the eyes.

  “I will have to let her know who my real friends are now.”

  “I am your friend, Jack. I know we haven’t acted like friends for a while now, but I’m here for you when you need me. Ever since Ella died, you haven’t been my friend. You grew distant, you weren’t there for me or Paxton when you should have been. Paxton deserves the real Jack I know and the one she fell in love with.” Duke rammed into Jack’s shoulder as he walked passed him. “I’ll see myself out.”

  Jack turned and watched Duke walk out of his house. He wasn’t sure what to think of this visit but he knew that he had drawn the battle lines. Duke would go back and tell Paxton that he had moved on. He felt a tightening in his chest thinking about the moment Paxton would find out he was living with Kenleigh. Jack had made his choice and that choice was Kenleigh, not Paxton.

  “What did I just do?” he asked himself. “What the hell did I just do?”

  Jack felt like he was suddenly suffocating. The walls were closing in on him. He needed to get out of the room, out of the house. He needed just to get away and clear his head.

  ***

  Jack found himself driving aimlessly on the interstate. He was heading out of town towards New York City. His tiny town was located about an hour and half outside of the big city. Bridge Heights was a decent town to live in. That’s where he grew up. It was close to Middletown which was in the southern part of the state. They had anything the bigger cities had just a little more space.

  He wasn’t sure where he was headed he was just driving. He couldn’t believe Duke came all the way to New York. Why would he come this far unless Paxton was in a far worse state than when he left her? Jack already decided that he couldn’t go running back to her, but what if he was making a mistake? Jack shook his head, if Paxton wanted him, then she would have said something. Duke wouldn’t need to come to New York to tell him. Jack turned the car around. He needed to talk to someone, the one person he thought of was his father. He listened before, surely he would listen now.

  It didn’t take long for Jack to
get back to his parents’ house. He walked into the quiet house. His mother wasn’t home as her car was gone. He knew his father would be in the living room or his den. Since the TV wasn’t on, he was sure his father was in the den. He walked through the house towards the den. He knocked on the door and heard a grumble behind it.

  “Hey Dad.”

  Jacob looked up from his desk, “Hey there Jackie, wasn’t expecting you.”

  “Sorry, I was just out and about.”

  Jack saw his father place a bookmark in his current book and look up at him. Concern etched his old face. Jack sat down in front of his father’s desk. Although he retired last year, Jacob enjoyed reading at his desk. He always told Jack there was something comforting about it.